"Have you ever been annoyed because someone was rushing you? .....[a] child's rhythm is much slower than yours. He does not have your adult sense of time. To him, things do not seem so urgent. He cannot plan for the future as you do. ....[a] child's life exists for him in the present moment." ( from Montessori & Your Child by Terry Malloy, 1974)
Developing My Montessori Social Skills
Greeting a Student
Greet each child each day by name. Make them feel very welcomed!
Speak and/or spend time with each child each day. (With babies/toddlers, hold one in your lap while you read to the other, start a conversation with a older child by observing neutrally, "I see you are wearing a blue shirt today.")
Use loving and caring voices and body language.
My Voice
How you address a child is critical. We use our voice to communicate along with our body language. Our voice is always soft and courteous. You speak to a child as you would speak to an adult. You do not use "dumb downed" language, or use baby talk (does not apply to working with babies, research has shown that it strengthens babies language abilities when caregivers use high, squeaky tones). For example, use the real words for items, such as insect instead of bug. You would speak clearly, and articulately. You say thank you, please, your welcome, as well as other courteous language at all times. You ask before you take anything a child is handling unless it is dangerous. You do not interrupt a child when he or she is speaking or working. You wait quietly until they are ready to be addressed. Gently placing a hand on his or her shoulder lets the child know you need to talk to them without interrupting them with your voice if they are working or busy. (You can teach this gesture in class, and teach them to do it with you. You will be thankful for not being interrupted all the time by their voices!)
It is also important to note that our ultimate goal is to guide a child to complete independence; therefore, we do not help a child do something he or she can do himself or herself. The only time it is okay to help is if you see frustration building in a child. (This does not necessarily apply when you are reteaching a lesson or teaching something new. It is just important to remember Montessori's words to help the child do it himself). The following scenario is one such instance:
Roberto was putting together a puzzle, he just could not get the last piece in and you had observed him trying several times. As long as he was fine with his struggle, you stayed away and just observed every now and then. But soon, Roberto was becoming frustrated and looked upset so you went over and gently helped him maneuver the piece into place by showing the solution and then allowing Roberto to copy your movements and put the piece in place himself. Sometimes no verbal action is needed yet other times, a simple, "Do you need help?" is appropriate/effective.
No interruptions please, we're concentrating!
One of the greatest frustrations a child can experience is having his concentration interrupted. Dr. Montessori tells us to "respect all the reasonable forms of activity in which the child engages and try to understand them.” It is important to give children adequate time to complete their tasks. Do not use your voice or body to get in the way of their work. The Montessori philosophy tells us that children of this age group do not learn by listening to words but by "experiences in the environment." It is the natural inclination of the child and we must not get in their way. Our job is to ensure that we help the child develop the concentration he needs to succeed in his work, if a child is concentrating he is experiencing inner peace, happiness. Study the photo below, look at the child's face, can see you the concentration written there? Ask yourself, what can I do to protect this?
Do not over praise or interrupt work with a compliment or reward behavior. Use a smile or quiet observation to recognize and enforce positive behavior patterns in the classroom. Some examples: "Mira, I noticed how neat that rug was after you rolled it." or "Peter, you came so quietly to the line today." or "I did not hear the chair at all when you pushed it in, Sarah." Can you think of some positive observations?
What ever you expect of them, you also must model. Let the child speak for him or herself without filling in words. If we want to present a lesson or bring a child to a certain space, we invite, we do not command. If we are presenting a lesson, (unless it is a language lesson) we use as few words as possible. It is important to think about the vocabulary you are using with the child before you use it. Saying "may not" instead of "cannot" (because, by golly they "can" do it), and by not asking a child to do something when it is not a choice. For an example, when it is time to line up to go inside for lunch, you do not say, "Are you ready to go inside?" They will probably promptly tell you, "No, I am not." So, make it a statement, "It is time to go inside, please line up." Or instead of saying, "Can you be quiet?" say, "Use your inside voice." Children who do not respond well to that or any other direct statements will be addressed in the section, "The Gentle Guide."
Here is a Digital Story to view on proper words to use with students in a Montessori environment...the playground! Enjoy!
Here is a link with information on other phrases to use instead of the traditional ones used to gain students' attentions. Positive Commands
Remember, this is key to maintaining a peaceful, orderly Montessori environment, where the child is respected. Take Dr. Maria Montessori's words to heart, she did not say "Spare the rod, spoil the child." She stated, "Children are human beings to whom respect is due, superior to us by reason of their innocence and of the greater possibilities of their future.”
When you are speaking to student, you must crouch into a position in which you are looking at him eye to eye. See the image above for appropriate stance when addressing a student. You also look the child into the eyes as you are speaking to him. Our movements in the classroom must be slow but purposeful. We approach a child from the front, we let him or her know what we are going to do (e.g. change a diaper, hand a tissue). A hand on the shoulder lets the child know you want to speak to him or her if they are working. Something to think about.....These children are each doing important work. The mother of one of the children is waiting quietly at the door to pick up her child for a dentist appointment. How would you approach one of these children so that they could put their work away, meet their mother quietly at the door without disturbing the entire class or frustrating the child who is concentrating on his or her work?QuizBe sure to take the quiz now to assess what you know! Scroll down to be able to see all eight questions. Review any information where you felt you did not know the answer.
Now go to Maintaining the Montessori Environment by clicking on the label or going to the navigation panel on your left. Hope you are having fun learning! Take notes and review as much as needed! You also may want to bookmark this site!
Developing My Montessori Social Skills
Greeting a Student
- Greet each child each day by name. Make them feel very welcomed!
- Speak and/or spend time with each child each day. (With babies/toddlers, hold one in your lap while you read to the other, start a conversation with a older child by observing neutrally, "I see you are wearing a blue shirt today.")
- Use loving and caring voices and body language.
My VoiceHow you address a child is critical. We use our voice to communicate along with our body language. Our voice is always soft and courteous. You speak to a child as you would speak to an adult. You do not use "dumb downed" language, or use baby talk (does not apply to working with babies, research has shown that it strengthens babies language abilities when caregivers use high, squeaky tones). For example, use the real words for items, such as insect instead of bug. You would speak clearly, and articulately. You say thank you, please, your welcome, as well as other courteous language at all times. You ask before you take anything a child is handling unless it is dangerous. You do not interrupt a child when he or she is speaking or working. You wait quietly until they are ready to be addressed. Gently placing a hand on his or her shoulder lets the child know you need to talk to them without interrupting them with your voice if they are working or busy. (You can teach this gesture in class, and teach them to do it with you. You will be thankful for not being interrupted all the time by their voices!)
It is also important to note that our ultimate goal is to guide a child to complete independence; therefore, we do not help a child do something he or she can do himself or herself. The only time it is okay to help is if you see frustration building in a child. (This does not necessarily apply when you are reteaching a lesson or teaching something new. It is just important to remember Montessori's words to help the child do it himself). The following scenario is one such instance:
Roberto was putting together a puzzle, he just could not get the last piece in and you had observed him trying several times. As long as he was fine with his struggle, you stayed away and just observed every now and then. But soon, Roberto was becoming frustrated and looked upset so you went over and gently helped him maneuver the piece into place by showing the solution and then allowing Roberto to copy your movements and put the piece in place himself. Sometimes no verbal action is needed yet other times, a simple, "Do you need help?" is appropriate/effective.
No interruptions please, we're concentrating!
One of the greatest frustrations a child can experience is having his concentration interrupted. Dr. Montessori tells us to "respect all the reasonable forms of activity in which the child engages and try to understand them.” It is important to give children adequate time to complete their tasks. Do not use your voice or body to get in the way of their work. The Montessori philosophy tells us that children of this age group do not learn by listening to words but by "experiences in the environment." It is the natural inclination of the child and we must not get in their way. Our job is to ensure that we help the child develop the concentration he needs to succeed in his work, if a child is concentrating he is experiencing inner peace, happiness. Study the photo below, look at the child's face, can see you the concentration written there? Ask yourself, what can I do to protect this?
Do not over praise or interrupt work with a compliment or reward behavior. Use a smile or quiet observation to recognize and enforce positive behavior patterns in the classroom. Some examples: "Mira, I noticed how neat that rug was after you rolled it." or "Peter, you came so quietly to the line today." or "I did not hear the chair at all when you pushed it in, Sarah." Can you think of some positive observations?
What ever you expect of them, you also must model. Let the child speak for him or herself without filling in words. If we want to present a lesson or bring a child to a certain space, we invite, we do not command. If we are presenting a lesson, (unless it is a language lesson) we use as few words as possible. It is important to think about the vocabulary you are using with the child before you use it. Saying "may not" instead of "cannot" (because, by golly they "can" do it), and by not asking a child to do something when it is not a choice. For an example, when it is time to line up to go inside for lunch, you do not say, "Are you ready to go inside?" They will probably promptly tell you, "No, I am not." So, make it a statement, "It is time to go inside, please line up." Or instead of saying, "Can you be quiet?" say, "Use your inside voice." Children who do not respond well to that or any other direct statements will be addressed in the section, "The Gentle Guide."
Here is a Digital Story to view on proper words to use with students in a Montessori environment...the playground! Enjoy!
Here is a link with information on other phrases to use instead of the traditional ones used to gain students' attentions.
Positive Commands
Remember, this is key to maintaining a peaceful, orderly Montessori environment, where the child is respected. Take Dr. Maria Montessori's words to heart, she did not say "Spare the rod, spoil the child." She stated, "Children are human beings to whom respect is due, superior to us by reason of their innocence and of the greater possibilities of their future.”
Language - Talking with Infants
Language - Talking with 6-12 Months
Language - Talking with 12-24 months
Language - Talking with age 2-3 years
My Body Language
Now go to Maintaining the Montessori Environment by clicking on the label or going to the navigation panel on your left. Hope you are having fun learning! Take notes and review as much as needed! You also may want to bookmark this site!