“One test of the correctness of educational procedure is the happiness of the child.” - Maria Montessori “The only language men ever speak perfectly is the one they learn in babyhood, when no one can teach them anything!” - Dr. Maria Montessori
Be Proactive Encourage cooperation not competition......
Students normally love to be together. (Students also learn from each other and can tend to copy each other, good or bad). What do you do when there is a conflict? A normal reaction would be to step in right away and intervene, but that is not always the best solution. Maria Montessori tells us, “When dealing with children there is greater need for observing than of probing." Students need to learn to solve their own conflicts. It is our jobs as their teachers to provide them with the means.
How to hold a peace conference is something that needs to be taught to the whole class. A peace area or peace table like the one pictured above will provide for them is place in the classroom to work out their differences and a peace object or peace objects should also be there. The peace object is sometimes a rose or it may be a beautiful shell or talking stick which helps the two students mediate their conversation. Whomever holds the peace object is the one who gets to talk, the other listens. When he is done talking, he hands the object to his classmate and they tell their side of the story. Sometimes it is necessary to ask them if they need a mediator such as yourself to help with the communication process, but you will soon find that they will need you less and less. Students who work out their own differences are clearly empowered and this skill will serve them well beyond preschool. Some general don'ts: You should not tell a student to say "I'm sorry." The student may not feel the least bit sorry and it can become just words with no meaning. It may be okay to prompt with "Is there anything you can do or say to your classmate to help?" If they are unable to do or say anything, then you say it, "I am so sorry you got hurt, would you like a hug or a drink of water?"
This is from the North American Montessori Association's training manual: "Setting an example as Dr. Montessori observed, and as many researchers of child growth and development have shown, children learn much about behavior by observing the adults around them. In all levels of Montessori programs, teachers need to model the behavior they want the children to imitate. Here are some ways every teacher or other adults working with the children can set an example:
• speaking in a calm, quiet voice
• moving in a calm, quiet fashion
• giving the students ample time to carry out tasks
• using words and actions that show respect for the student and the student’s experience, and in turn expecting to be treated respectfully
• asking for and receiving a student’s permission before assisting in any work the student is doing
• saying “please” when asking a student for something
• thanking a student who brings something asked for" (Montessori Training Classroom Guide, 2007)
The Rug/MatOne rule to expect, keep, and model is when the child is doing floor work, requiring him or her to use a rug. Below are three images of children using rugs with their floor work. You can also watch the video below to understand why this tool is so important.
Directed Choice First it is important to wait...unless the child is endangering himself or others, you must wait and see if the child can solve his own problem especially in a social situation. We are to build independence in the children not dependence on you to solve all their problems. Remember the goal is to become less and less needed, to be a guide, a facilitator, maintaining an appropriate environment so that the children can freely move and learn with out hindrance from you. So, what is directed choice? It is providing two positive choices as an alternative to a child's current behavior. If a child is exhibiting behavior that is not conducive to a peaceful classroom such as interrupting working children, being destructive with a lesson, or running in the classroom, it is necessary to stop him or her. Speaking firmly not harshly (It is our role to guide children, not force them), give them some alternatives to their current behavior. (Sometimes with the very young (infant/toddler) you can just distract them from their current behavior by placing yourself in between them or providing an interesting object to capture their attention). Another alternative is the redirecting, providing a choice between two alternative appropriate activities. Read the story below to get a clear picture of this alternative:
Tammy is a three year old who is new to the Montessori environment and has had trouble settling in. She has trouble connecting with the other children in the classroom and does not understand the rule of "not interrupting while others are working." To her, she just wants to play, when the other children are not responding to her, she begins to grab parts of their lessons. You go to her and put her arm around her and state, "I see that you want to work with Melody today, but she is not ready to play with you. You can play with her later today. Would you like to do the pink tower like you did yesterday or would you like me to show you a new lesson, the cylinder blocks?" Providing Tammy a chance to work with you might just be what the doctor ordered, she is in need of some social contact but she also still needs to guidance in making appropriate choices. There also may be a classmate who is available to do work with you and Tammy, so that she begins to connect with a friend. Take time to recognize what may be causing the behavior, will help you come up with some appropriate choices. What if.... If the child is having a meltdown in class, do not draw attention to the behavior by commenting on it, do not act with abruptness but slowly go to the child and state, "I see you are feeling sad or angry about this situation." Sometimes providing some redirection does not work, especially if they are very restless and are not calming down. You may try "gluing." Gluing is having the child sit or stay by your side for a little while. This tends to work better with toddlers and twos but it can work in a preschool/kindergarten class as well. It is important to remember you eventually have to take yourself out of the picture, teaching them how to self calm and self discipline is your ultimate goal. Being proactive by providing opportunities and training such as the silence game* and using peaceful objects at the peace table or in the peace area will help. *The silence game was developed by Maria Montessori to help with motor skills (controlling the body) but it has evolved into much more than the original intent. It has become an exercise in developing inner peace. Click on the link below for an explanation and more on the silence game. The Silence Game
Dr. Maria Montessori Words on Discipline Something to think about....
Jason and Jeremiah are fighting over a ball. They no longer want to share it with each other. They had been playing catch with each other for about ten minutes. They both went for a missed ball at the same time and picked it up simultaneously. Neither wanted to let go and let the other have it.
Look at the photos below. How do you think the students were able to get from stage one and stage two.
Quiz on The Gentle Guide
Now go to Resources by clicking on the label or going to the navigation panel on your left. This page will give your lots more information, it is a process and a lot to learn but it is worth it!
“One test of the correctness of educational procedure is the happiness of the child.” - Maria Montessori“The only language men ever speak perfectly is the one they learn in babyhood, when no one can teach them anything!” - Dr. Maria Montessori
Be Proactive
Encourage cooperation not competition......
Students normally love to be together. (Students also learn from each other and can tend to copy each other, good or bad). What do you do when there is a conflict? A normal reaction would be to step in right away and intervene, but that is not always the best solution. Maria Montessori tells us, “When dealing with children there is greater need for observing than of probing." Students need to learn to solve their own conflicts. It is our jobs as their teachers to provide them with the means.
How to hold a peace conference is something that needs to be taught to the whole class. A peace area or peace table like the one pictured above will provide for them is place in the classroom to work out their differences and a peace object or peace objects should also be there. The peace object is sometimes a rose or it may be a beautiful shell or talking stick which helps the two students mediate their conversation. Whomever holds the peace object is the one who gets to talk, the other listens. When he is done talking, he hands the object to his classmate and they tell their side of the story. Sometimes it is necessary to ask them if they need a mediator such as yourself to help with the communication process, but you will soon find that they will need you less and less. Students who work out their own differences are clearly empowered and this skill will serve them well beyond preschool.
Some general don'ts: You should not tell a student to say "I'm sorry." The student may not feel the least bit sorry and it can become just words with no meaning. It may be okay to prompt with "Is there anything you can do or say to your classmate to help?" If they are unable to do or say anything, then you say it, "I am so sorry you got hurt, would you like a hug or a drink of water?"
This is from the North American Montessori Association's training manual:
"Setting an example as Dr. Montessori observed, and as many researchers of child growth and development have shown, children learn much about behavior by observing the adults around them. In all levels of Montessori programs, teachers need to model the behavior they want the children to imitate. Here are some ways every teacher or other adults working with the children can set an example:
• speaking in a calm, quiet voice
• moving in a calm, quiet fashion
• giving the students ample time to carry out tasks
• using words and actions that show respect for the student and the student’s experience, and in turn expecting to be treated respectfully
• asking for and receiving a student’s permission before assisting in any work the student is doing
• saying “please” when asking a student for something
• thanking a student who brings something asked for" (Montessori Training Classroom Guide, 2007)
The Rug/MatOne rule to expect, keep, and model is when the child is doing floor work, requiring him or her to use a rug. Below are three images of children using rugs with their floor work. You can also watch the video below to understand why this tool is so important.
Directed Choice
First it is important to wait...unless the child is endangering himself or others, you must wait and see if the child can solve his own problem especially in a social situation. We are to build independence in the children not dependence on you to solve all their problems. Remember the goal is to become less and less needed, to be a guide, a facilitator, maintaining an appropriate environment so that the children can freely move and learn with out hindrance from you.
So, what is directed choice? It is providing two positive choices as an alternative to a child's current behavior. If a child is exhibiting behavior that is not conducive to a peaceful classroom such as interrupting working children, being destructive with a lesson, or running in the classroom, it is necessary to stop him or her. Speaking firmly not harshly (It is our role to guide children, not force them), give them some alternatives to their current behavior. (Sometimes with the very young (infant/toddler) you can just distract them from their current behavior by placing yourself in between them or providing an interesting object to capture their attention). Another alternative is the redirecting, providing a choice between two alternative appropriate activities. Read the story below to get a clear picture of this alternative:
Tammy is a three year old who is new to the Montessori environment and has had trouble settling in. She has trouble connecting with the other children in the classroom and does not understand the rule of "not interrupting while others are working." To her, she just wants to play, when the other children are not responding to her, she begins to grab parts of their lessons. You go to her and put her arm around her and state, "I see that you want to work with Melody today, but she is not ready to play with you. You can play with her later today. Would you like to do the pink tower like you did yesterday or would you like me to show you a new lesson, the cylinder blocks?" Providing Tammy a chance to work with you might just be what the doctor ordered, she is in need of some social contact but she also still needs to guidance in making appropriate choices. There also may be a classmate who is available to do work with you and Tammy, so that she begins to connect with a friend. Take time to recognize what may be causing the behavior, will help you come up with some appropriate choices.
What if....
If the child is having a meltdown in class, do not draw attention to the behavior by commenting on it, do not act with abruptness but slowly go to the child and state, "I see you are feeling sad or angry about this situation."
Sometimes providing some redirection does not work, especially if they are very restless and are not calming down. You may try "gluing." Gluing is having the child sit or stay by your side for a little while. This tends to work better with toddlers and twos but it can work in a preschool/kindergarten class as well. It is important to remember you eventually have to take yourself out of the picture, teaching them how to self calm and self discipline is your ultimate goal. Being proactive by providing opportunities and training such as the silence game* and using peaceful objects at the peace table or in the peace area will help.
*The silence game was developed by Maria Montessori to help with motor skills (controlling the body) but it has evolved into much more than the original intent. It has become an exercise in developing inner peace. Click on the link below for an explanation and more on the silence game.
The Silence Game
Dr. Maria Montessori Words on Discipline
Something to think about....
Jason and Jeremiah are fighting over a ball. They no longer want to share it with each other. They had been playing catch with each other for about ten minutes. They both went for a missed ball at the same time and picked it up simultaneously. Neither wanted to let go and let the other have it.
Look at the photos below. How do you think the students were able to get from stage one and stage two.
Quiz on The Gentle Guide
Now go to Resources by clicking on the label or going to the navigation panel on your left. This page will give your lots more information, it is a process and a lot to learn but it is worth it!